Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize