I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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