Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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