8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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