belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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