how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize