Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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