I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize