$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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