Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
