Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
did i walk over a car last night?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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