dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
