She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
