i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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