I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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