it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
