As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
