omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
bring money and cleavage
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
