Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
