He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize