i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize