Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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