drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
No subtext here. People are naked.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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