I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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