did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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