If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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