they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
