i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
