If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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