fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize