please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
