I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
