remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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