My room smells like vodka and shame
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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