did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
