Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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