we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize