i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
