I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
