There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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