I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
