I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
