im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
