smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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