Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sext me about skeletons
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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