In the future we'll all be gay
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
