Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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