someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
