dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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