Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
