Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
