I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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