Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
