singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
