More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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