Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
