I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
