wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
