what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
