If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
