Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
