do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
