We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize