Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
