I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Too much gin, very little bucket
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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