i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
