I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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