are you still at the devil's house?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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