You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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