This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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