just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
