you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
