That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
