ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
